Monday, 29 August 2016
Wednesday, 17 August 2016
Child guidance priniciples......
A summary of Adlerian thoughts for adults who guide children follows:
1. Freeing myself of the mistaken notion that I should control the child’s behavior
2. Accepting responsibility for changing my behavior first
3. Respecting the child or adolescent for making the best choices he or she can under the circumstances, as he or she perceives them
4. Realizing that children are attempting to make a place for themselves by whatever means seem available to them (i.e., socially useful or useless behavior)
5. Understanding that when children misbehave, it is an outward sign of their internal discouragement as participating members of our class or family
6. Committing myself to helping children learn self-discipline and cooperation by friendly and willing participation in the daily tasks we all must fulfill
7. Using choices as an alternative to ultimatums
8. Appreciating that when invited to contribute in a positive way to the family or class, children prefer to participate.
Tuesday, 16 August 2016
Your Psychological Characters depends upon the Position in the Family
Only Child
Only children may have the perceptions of the oldest child with one important exception. They are never dethroned and are less likely to feel the pressure of a close competitor. Only children may be perceived as quite mature for their age, comfortable with adults, responsible, cooperative, and developing mastery in cognitive skills. Their most likely perceived deficiency will be in relating to their peer group. Unlike the other youngsters, they may have little or no intimate give and take with other children. This can make early school experiences more difficult for these children as they begin coping with new life situations involving a peer group.
Oldest.
Oldest.
The oldest children can be typified as ruler for a day. They are the first and undisputed rulers of the family, the cause of glad tidings and happily the center of attention. One day a stranger appears in the house. Depending on the proximity in months or years, parental attitudes, gender difference, and other such variables, the oldest children evaluate the threat to their position in the family. On the average, they learn to take the newcomer in stride, especially if the parents are not too impressed with
some likely acting-out behavior and provide encouragement for the oldest children to recognize their place as secure within the family. Oldest children generally are able to relate well to adults, subscribe more readily to adult expectations and values, help at home particularly with the younger children, assume social responsibility, and develop socially acceptable ways of coping with life’s tasks. The tendency of oldest children is to please adults and to strive for perfection as a guiding fictive goal,
which can have serious consequences unless moderated over time.
some likely acting-out behavior and provide encouragement for the oldest children to recognize their place as secure within the family. Oldest children generally are able to relate well to adults, subscribe more readily to adult expectations and values, help at home particularly with the younger children, assume social responsibility, and develop socially acceptable ways of coping with life’s tasks. The tendency of oldest children is to please adults and to strive for perfection as a guiding fictive goal,
which can have serious consequences unless moderated over time.
Second
The second children arrive to find someone already ahead of them. When within 6 years of the older child, and again depending on age and similar variables, second children typically will pursue their place in ways opposite to the older child. They may be less responsible, more independent, more demanding of service, and more interested in whatever the oldest does not pursue or master. Second children often strive to be number one. The competition, referred to as sibling rivalry, can be quite intense in families that encourage comparisons between children. They can be portrayed by the illustration of persons in a foot race. Oldest children hear footsteps behind them and race to keep ahead. The second children see the person in front and feel that if they just try harder, maybe they can overtake them. Some individuals give up the race in discouragement. Others become admired as socially productive, although in some cases, they may gain only slight satisfaction from their efforts because they are motivated by the mistaken idea they must be productive to be valued as a person.
Middle
Middle children acquire an added condition to their existence, a younger sibling. Often in families of three, the middle children feel squeezed in their position. They perceive themselves as singularly disadvantaged. They have few, if any, advantages of the oldest child and now their position as the baby has been supplanted. To help really convince them of their predicament, the oldest children often help take care of the youngest, thereby establishing for themselves an ally. The oldest may be
seen as “bossy” toward the other children as well. Middle children will likely still move in directions opposite to the older child. They may be more independent, rebellious, judgmental, and sensitive, and overtly seek assurances of their place with the parents. As is true with each position in the family, middle children can transcend these early perceptions through compensatory behavior that eventually works to their benefit. Each child often perceives his or her position as the most burdensome to bear. Middle children may express this disappointment more loudly.
seen as “bossy” toward the other children as well. Middle children will likely still move in directions opposite to the older child. They may be more independent, rebellious, judgmental, and sensitive, and overtly seek assurances of their place with the parents. As is true with each position in the family, middle children can transcend these early perceptions through compensatory behavior that eventually works to their benefit. Each child often perceives his or her position as the most burdensome to bear. Middle children may express this disappointment more loudly.
Youngest
Youngest children enjoy positions that they perceive as the center of attention. In addition to parents, they have older siblings to entertain and provide them service. Although the youngest children might be troublesome at times, they have a protector to care for them. In fact, as youngest children get a little older, it is even fun to start something with the middle child and watch the older ally and the parents run to save the baby. They are often described as cute, a charmer, and the family’s baby, no matter how old they become. They may choose to use this charm and manipulative ways to just get by and enjoy life’s many pleasures. On the other hand, with family values by both parents on achievement, they might be the hardest runners and greatest achievers of all if they perceive that as a way to make their place. They can be great entertainers and comfortable before an audience, whereas many people abhor, for example, public speaking.
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