A summary of Adlerian thoughts for adults who guide children follows:
1. Freeing myself of the mistaken notion that I should control the child’s behavior
2. Accepting responsibility for changing my behavior first
3. Respecting the child or adolescent for making the best choices he or she can under the circumstances, as he or she perceives them
4. Realizing that children are attempting to make a place for themselves by whatever means seem available to them (i.e., socially useful or useless behavior)
5. Understanding that when children misbehave, it is an outward sign of their internal discouragement as participating members of our class or family
6. Committing myself to helping children learn self-discipline and cooperation by friendly and willing participation in the daily tasks we all must fulfill
7. Using choices as an alternative to ultimatums
8. Appreciating that when invited to contribute in a positive way to the family or class, children prefer to participate.
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