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Saturday 5 November 2016

self esteem

The concept of self-esteem is often explained in terms of self-acceptance and self-respect. In some popular literature, positive self-talk practiced throughout the day is portrayed as a technique for overcoming poor self concept.

Positive self-worth is central to experiencing positive self-esteem, but it is an achievement earned by meeting life’s tasks on a day-to-day basis, often without great fanfare or acknowledgment by others. Achievement is both a product and promoter of what is called self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is confidence in one’s ability to reason, problem solve, think creatively, and cope with the basic tasks of life. This is not done in a vacuum.

Consequences of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the result of a human process so fundamental that it is a part of what constitutes human nature. From the time of birth, one begins experiencing life as pleasurable, satisfying, safe, supportive, or not. Individuals are alert to signs that convey what they can expect from others, their own efforts, and life in general. Although this process of seeking cues continues throughout people’s lives, their earliest experiences tend to establish the expectations that will guide them throughout the remainder of their lives.

As a consequence, people tend to filter new experiences according to their expectations. Equally important, they create new experiences that will reinforce their self-fulfilling prophecies about themselves, others, and life. Left unchallenged and unexamined, their early self-assessments tend to guide their thoughts, emotions, and actions much like an autopilot that has been preprogrammed to a distant destination. Therefore, early life experiences are the repository of anticipation of future success or lack thereof in meeting life tasks. Individuals with a positive sense of worth tend to approach their basic life tasks with a confidence and expectation that they will be successful and happy in all that they do. This fundamental difference between individuals with high and low sense of worth also explains the power of these convictions.

SUNIL KUMAR                                           JAYASUDHA KAMARAJ
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST                     COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGIST
FOUNDER - MIND ZONE                          CO-FOUNDER, MIND ZONE
+91 9444 297058                                           +91 91760 55660

MIND ZONE: Alcohols impact in Family

MIND ZONE: Alcohols impact in Family: The alcoholic : • Denies the alcohol problem, blames others, forgets and tells stories to defend and protest against   humiliation, att...

MIND ZONE

Alcohols impact in Family

The alcoholic:

• Denies the alcohol problem, blames others, forgets and tells stories to defend and protest against   humiliation, attack and criticism from others in the family;
• Spends money for day-to-day needs on alcohol;
• Becomes unpredictable and impulsive in behavior;
• Resorts to verbal and physical abuse in place of honest, open talk;
• Loses the trust of family, relatives, and friends;
• Shows deterioration of physical health;
• Experiences a diminishing sexual drive;
• Has feelings of despair and hopelessness; and,
• Thinks about suicide and possibly makes an attempt.

The spouse:

• Often tries to hide and deny the existing problem of the alcoholic;
• Takes on the responsibilities of the other person, carrying the load of two and perpetrating the spouse dependence;
• Takes a job to get away from the problem and/or maintain financial security;
• Finds it difficult to be open and honest because of resentment, anger, and hurt feelings;
• Avoids sexual contact;
• May over-protect the children, neglect them, and/or use them for emotional support;
• Shows gradual social withdrawal and isolation;
• May lose feelings of self-respect and self-worth;
• May use alcohol or prescription drugs in an effort to cope.

The children:

• May be victims of birth defects;
• May be torn between parents; being loyal to one, they arouse and feel the anger of the other;
• May be deprived of emotional and physical support;
• Avoid peer activities, especially in the home out of fear and shame;
• Learn destructive and negative ways of dealing with problems and getting attention;
• Lack trust in anyone;
• May lose sight of values, standards and goals because of the absence of consistent, strong parenting.
• Suffer a diminishing sense of self-worth as a significant member of the family.

Clinical Psychologist                                Counseling Psychologist
Founder - Mind Zone                               Co-founder, Mind Zone
+91 9444 297058                                     +91 91760 55660

DENIAL IN FAMILY

It is ironic that family members deny a drinking problem in their family, because this is exactly what the alcoholic does. We know that, for the alcoholic, denial is functional for the continuation of the drinking. As long as the alcoholic denies that he/she has a problem, there is no reason to seek a solution. Non-alcoholic family members also deny, but their denial is totally dysfunctional to meeting their needs. Everyone in the family denies that anything is wrong, yet no one feels right. Family denial of alcoholism occurs in at least three ways: as systemic denial; as protection against exposure; and, as the primary patient philosophy.

CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST                                    COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGIST
FOUNDER - MIND ZONE                                         CO-FOUNDER, MIND ZONE
+91 9444 297058                                                         +91 91760 55660

PSYCHIATRIC EMERGENCY : 9444020006


Alcoholism and Society

In our society today, if a woman is married to a male alcoholic and there are children under the age of 18 in the family, nine out of ten women will stay with the alcoholic. However, if the situation is reversed, and she is the alcoholic, only one out of ten males will stay. In fact, an alcoholic wife has a nine times greater chance of divorce than an alcoholic husband (Kinney, 2000).

Many of the women’s reasons for staying range from a lack of viable alternatives to denial. Additionally, the norms of society must be considered. For example, a male can become inebriated and engage in drunken behavior, and still be permitted to feel masculine. It is difficult for a woman to become inebriated and engage in drunken behavior and feel feminine. For the male, there exists a complementary norm of excessive drinking and masculinity. However, for the female, there exists a conflicting norm regarding excessive drinking and femininity. Where a complementary norm exists, there is a higher probability of its continual occurrence and a higher level of social acceptance.


Another factor may be that if a woman has children, and she is suspected of having a drinking problem, one of the first things that may be said about her is that she is an “unfit” mother. It is unlikely that the male will stay in this situation. However, how long does male alcoholism continue before we hear that he is an “unfit” father?


Sunil Kumar                                      Jayasudha Kamaraj
Clinical Psychologist                         Counseling Psychologist
Founder - Mind Zone                        Co-founder, Mind Zone
+91 9444 297058                              +91 91760 55660

Alcoholism is a family disease

Living with an alcoholic is a family affair. Because it subjects all members of a household to constant stress and fears of various kinds, it has often been referred to as a “family illness.” To one degree or another, all members of the family are affected. However, not all alcoholic families, nor all members of the same family, are affected in a similar manner.

sunil kumar                                           jayasudha kamaraj
clinical psychologist                             counseling psychologist
founder - mind zone                             co-founder, mind zone
+91 9444 297058                                 +91 9176 055660

Tuesday 1 November 2016