Three Basic Musts

                                           THREE BASIC MUSTS
Although clients tend to express their irrational beliefs in their own individual ways, it is helpful to consider irrational beliefs to be variations of three basic schemas or categories of musts. These involve the following types of demands:

1. Demands about self: These musts are frequently revealed in statements such as, “I must do well and be approved of by significant others, and if I’m not, then it’s awful,” or, “I can’t stand it, and I am a damnable person to some degree when I am not loved or when I do not do well.” Beliefs based on these musts often lead to anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt.

2. Demands about others: These musts are often expressed in statements like, “You must treat me well and justly, and it’s awful—I can’t bear it—when you don’t,” or, “You are damnable when you don’t treat me well, and you deserve to be punished for doing what you must not do.” Beliefs based on these musts are associated with the emotions of anger and rage and behaviors such as passive-aggression or violence.
3. Demands about the world/life conditions: These musts often take the form of beliefs such as, “Life conditions under which I live must absolutely be the way I want them to be, and if they are not, it’s terrible,” or, “I can’t stand it; poor me!” Such beliefs are associated with feelings of self-pity and hurt, as well as with problems of self-discipline (e.g., procrastination or addictive behavior).

Dr. Sunil Kumar                                             

Clinical Psychologist                                      

founder, Mind Zone                                        

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