Three Basic Musts

                                           THREE BASIC MUSTS
Although clients tend to express their irrational beliefs in their own individual ways, it is helpful to consider irrational beliefs to be variations of three basic schemas or categories of musts. These involve the following types of demands:

1. Demands about self: These musts are frequently revealed in statements such as, “I must do well and be approved of by significant others, and if I’m not, then it’s awful,” or, “I can’t stand it, and I am a damnable person to some degree when I am not loved or when I do not do well.” Beliefs based on these musts often lead to anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt.

2. Demands about others: These musts are often expressed in statements like, “You must treat me well and justly, and it’s awful—I can’t bear it—when you don’t,” or, “You are damnable when you don’t treat me well, and you deserve to be punished for doing what you must not do.” Beliefs based on these musts are associated with the emotions of anger and rage and behaviors such as passive-aggression or violence.
3. Demands about the world/life conditions: These musts often take the form of beliefs such as, “Life conditions under which I live must absolutely be the way I want them to be, and if they are not, it’s terrible,” or, “I can’t stand it; poor me!” Such beliefs are associated with feelings of self-pity and hurt, as well as with problems of self-discipline (e.g., procrastination or addictive behavior).

Dr. Sunil Kumar                                             

Clinical Psychologist                                      

founder, Mind Zone                                        

9444297058                                                    

irrational beliefs

When our beliefs are rigid, they are called irrational beliefs and take the form of musts, absolute shoulds, or have to’s. When clients adhere to rigid premises, they will tend to draw irrational conclusions on the basis of them. These irrational conclusions, or derivative irrational beliefs, take the following forms:
1. I-can’t-stand-it-it is (low frustration tolerance)
2. Damnation (of self, others, and/or life conditions)
3. Absolute-and-never, dichotomous thinking (e.g., that I will always fail or never be approved of by significant others).


Dr. Sunil Kumar                                        Dr. Jayasudha Kamaraj
Clinical Psychologist                                 Counselling Psychologist
Founder, Mind Zone                                  Co-founder, Mind Zone
9444297058                                               9176055660

MIND ZONE: motivation behind the internet addiction

MIND ZONE: motivation behind the internet addiction: Adlerian theory holds that people are goal-directed and purposeful in their behavior . Adler commented on human being goal-directed, “A pe...

MIND ZONE

motivation behind the internet addiction

Adlerian theory holds that people are goal-directed and purposeful in their behavior. Adler commented on human being goal-directed, “A person would not know what to do with himself were he not oriented toward some goal. We cannot think, feel, will, or act without the perception of some goal” (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1956)

Internet addicts are motivated by a purposeful goal, a quest to adventure upon to find belonging, significance, and to contribute. Consequently, the quest for connection, friendship, relationships, and love on social media sites, chat rooms, and virtual sex through pornography is inexorably tied to the longing to belong, to find significance, and to contribute. We are social creatures, and in our longing to be connected, we can sometimes reach out in unhealthy ways. Hence, teenagers are looking for belonging, connection, social acceptance, and contribution, and the Internet, in and of itself, provides a faux fulfillment of those longings.Adlerian strategy to find freedom from addiction is imbedded in discovering the true goal behind the substance use and helping the individual meet that goal in a healthier way.

Adlerian theory purports that humans are driven to superiority stemming from feelings of inferiority discovered earlier in life rooted in their desire to belong. These feelings of inferiority drive humans to belong, to find significance, and to contribute to society to compensate for those inferior feelings. However, striving to reach our goals to belong, to find significance, and contribute can be completed on the useful or the useless side of life; in other words, humans strive on the vertical plane (motivated by self-interest) or on the horizontal plane (motivated by community interest) (Griffith & Powers, 2007).

An Adlerian perspective of adolescent Internet addiction would be that the addiction is the expression of a  struggle to overcome their inferiority feelings. The addiction presents itself because of the lack of courage in the individual to face reality and their life tasks. The individuals selfishly retreats into the Internet out of fear of being discovered, and so is hesitant of relationships with others in the real world. The fear of having others uncover their inadequacies is too much to bear. These inferiority feelings are also linked to the sense of not belonging that so many addicts report. This inferiority could be linked to the sense of "not belonging" that so many addicts report (Young, 1998; Brown, 2014)

Internet addicts confess their inability to successfully maintain their relationships with others, and as a result, a sense of worthlessness pervades. Furthermore, if these individuals dealing with Internet addiction have not experienced belonging or significance in the real world, these feelings of worthlessness are even more potent (Young, 1998). Adlerian theory emphasizes the importance of one’s final fictional goal, and students struggling with compulsive Internet use,might create a new goal of protecting and hiding their worthlessness, so the Internet becomes the refuge. Now the individual mistakenly believes that he or she must live online in order to survive offline (Brown, 2014). In other words, the individual tries to eliminate feelings of inferiority through their continue retreat into the Web. This fear of failure is problematic because it prevents the individual from succeeding in one of the three main life tasks outlined by Adler (1956): work/school, friendship, and intimacy.

Adler in The Neurotic Constitution (1916) discoursed about self-indulgence as a lifestyle problem and considered alcoholism and addiction as a form of retrogressive movement and suggested that alcoholics are “pampered failures” who lack courage and social interest. Adler (1956) stated, "Very frequently the beginning of addiction shows an acute feeling of inferiority marked by shyness, a liking for isolation, oversensitivity, impatience, irritability, and by neurotic symptoms like anxiety, depression and sexual insufficiency" (p. 423). Laskowitz (1961), an Adlerian theorist, furthers this idea when he indicated, “The adolescent drug addict is socially distant, suffers from heightened feelings of inadequacy, lacks courage, desires to be shielded and pampered."

Dr. Sunil Kumar                                                 Dr. Jayasudha Kamaraj

Clinical Psychologist                                          Counseling Psychologist

Founder, Mind Zone                                           co-founder, Mind Zone

9444297058                                                        9176055660

MIND ZONE: 4th year anniversay of Mind Zone Psychiatric Hospi...

MIND ZONE: 4th year anniversay of Mind Zone Psychiatric Hospi...: celebrated 4 th year anniversary of mind zone on may, 3rd 2019 at Mind zone , Chennai.  Mr. Saidai Duraiswamy, Mr. Jawahar, Dr. Anbudora...

MIND ZONE

4th year anniversay of Mind Zone Psychiatric Hospital

celebrated 4 th year anniversary of mind zone on may, 3rd 2019 at Mind zone, Chennai.  Mr. Saidai Duraiswamy, Mr. Jawahar, Dr. Anbudorai, Mr. Paneer Selvan and Mr. Jayaranjan participated in the function.