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Wednesday 4 November 2015

Betrayal

Ten ways to overcome betrayal and ten ways to make it worse

1. Preparation. if you noticed warning signs and are ready to deal with the betrayal when it happens, you have a definite advantage.  Denial is deadly.

2. Inspiration.  If you are inspired and feel powerful, you will act powerfully and decisively.  Powerlessness is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

3. Communication with the betrayer.  If you can talk to him, you have a definite advantage.  If the betrayal takes a while to resolve itself, that also helps.  A sudden break is much more difficult to deal with.

4. Explanation. When you know why the betrayal happened, you feel more in control. You can sort out your responsibility, your partner's responsibility, and the events that neither of you can control.  If you never know why it happened, you stay in a place of confusion.

5. Reparations.  If your partner is able to apologize and to make it up to you in some way, you'll feel much better.  If either or both of you are continually rageful, you'll never get this comfort.

6. Strong situation.  If you have lots of resources - good health, money, personal power, and spirituality - chances are you'll handle the betrayal well.  If you don't have resources, you will find it much more difficult to rebound.

7.Support foundation. A network of family, friends, and sympathetic colleagues is essential.  Children can also be superb supporters. Having a pet can help a lot.  Being isolated keeps you from recovering.

8.Emotional connection. You need to be deeply connected to a few special people with whom you can share your feelings and experiences - even the ones you're most embarrassed about.  Loneliness is bad enough when you're not being betrayed; it's terrible when you are.

9. Sexual sophistication. Knowing the joys and dangers of sex is a vital part of recovering from betrayal.  You need to know how to protect your body from disease if you have been sexually betrayed. you also need to know how to resume your sex life after you heal. Sexual ignorance can be painful - and possibly even fatal.

10. Spiritual orientation.  If you have faith in god, a higher power, or a supreme being, it will see you through.  I'm not saying you can't be an atheist or an agnostic, but lack of faith can defeat you.

Sunil Kumar                                    Jayasudha Kamaraj
Clinical Psychologist                       Counseling Psychologist
www.mindzone.in

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