How do you know who your primary and disowned selves are? The
qualities that you admire excessively or overvalue in others, and those
qualities that you really judge in others, give you a good indication of who
your disowned selves are. So if you really admire someone who is an artist and
you think that they are better than you because of their artistic ability, then
you have probably disowned your own artistic self and you might have as a
primary self a very logical, practical self. And if you really can't stand
someone who is blatantly selfish and you judge them for being selfish, then you
have probably disowned your selfishness and have as a primary self a giving
self.
What you have disowned and what is primary in you, also gives
you a good indication of what kinds of people you will be attracted to and
enter into relationship with.
The two main scenarios are:
1. You will like people who have similar primary selves to you,
and you will dislike people who’s primary selves are your disowned selves. You
will usually choose as friends those people who's primary selves you like.
2. But you will be attracted to (and at other times repelled by)
people who carry your disowned selves, either the positive ones or negative
ones. Usually we will enter into quite intense relationships with people who
carry our disowned selves.
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